Black Swan: First Thoughts and Review

The newest Darren Aronofsky film titled Black Swan stars Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis of "That 70's Show" fame. If you've seen an Aronofsky film you know what to expect. Lots of dazzling and strange images paired with different unsettling tight shots. I got the same feel from this that I did from watching "The Wrestler." You literally follow behind the main character like you're a younger sibling following your older sister to her dance practices and recital. I was a bit unsettled by the fact that the relationship between Portman and her mother character made it seem like Portman was much younger than she was. The two acted like Nina (Portman's character) is at least 10 years younger than she is. The mother tucks her in at night and her room is even pastel pinks.

Like I said, the imagery is amazing. I really was drawn into the movie because it looked so different form other movies. While this is great, I also find it a problem. It's like this: I think the movie is technically great. The shots are great, framing near perfect, even the handheld camera work is great. Choreography is performed perfectly. Yet while all of these things are so great, I didn't feel close to the story at all. I felt like I wanted to keep watching only because I wanted to see something new happen. I won't give away anything, but I felt like the imagery out-shined the story.

Everything was great but I wasn't connecting. I've heard other people say that it was the best movie of 2010. I agree that it was a cool movie, but it wasn't, to me, amazing.

The Hangover

He was on the roof the whole time. It wasn't funny.

Why I hate youtube.

My problem with youtube is the audience. everyone is fearless on the internet, and no one wants to take the time to appreciate anyone's successes while constructively addressing faults. take for instance my latest "video" (voice recording) where i asked if the "ground zero mosque" would be a problem if it were a church. someone commented saying

"No it would not be a problem considering the none Islamic type of people did not bomb us. It would be no problem if a non-Muslim church was built however personally it shouldn't be a church of any type at all perhaps a museum or something. It has been proven in history with this culture that to show the world they have conquered a spot they built the mosque right in the middle of the spot they conquered . No I am not racist or anything I just think they should build it somewhere else. GB"

me-valid argument but the site is not in the middle of ground zero. also it's not just a mosque.


random youtube audience member-Your right it isn't, it is bigger and grander then just a mosque and it just feels like it is a way to say we can spit on you and you are not going to do anything about it cause this is the land of the free and home of the naive. It may not be on the exact spot but it is close enough that to me feels like we are splitting hairs on its proximity

note the improper "you're", lack of punctuation, and outrageous metaphoric comparisons. i love (hate) the youtube audience.

now this is just a minor inconvenience and to be fair to this person he or she doesn't get overly emotional and just say things like "TAKE IT DOWN FAGGOT", which i'll get to soon.

and by soon i mean now.

I have a video that I did with some friends on my other page, VegaPictures.

We did a sketch where we portrayed news anchors who do behaviors that would end their careers. Honestly the quality is not great and it could have been scripted better (if we actually had one). But this is not the problem that people seem to have. We receive comments quite frequently saying things like "this isn't real you douchebags" although not using such kind language.

Well there was no promise of anything real. If you actually took the time to watch out other videos you might realize that we were kids when we made this and we didn't know any better and the name is just that, a name.

What is everyone's problem? the only people that seem to get any sort of positive reinforcement are people like Ray William Johnson and Fred. Both of those are horrible. Not funny, unoriginal, and just terrible people to boot.

I know i won't change anything but people just need to chill out and appreciate the little things that they don't have control over.

i have actually received threats (in youtube comments) because of the name of the video. Really? get over yourself. I'm not taking it down.

I've put up a disclaimer that plays before the video explaining that the video is indeed fake, and not meant to be taken seriously, but we have another problem arising here. Someone today commented,

Thanks for posting that disclaimer. Never would have known that this 1/2 rate, crappy video was fake. Douche bags.


I'm just going to let that sink in. I'm angry, I'm upset, I hate. You are horrible people on youtube. I wish the worst on you.

When i don't have the disclaimer i get people yelling because it's fake. When i do have it up I get people yelling because they "knew" it was fake.

I can't win.

Create Space

I'm going to start hosting my films for rent through amazon on demand. I don't know if the rentals will cost anything if so that would kinda suck but also good for me because then I get money haha! I'll put up more information when I have something up there. More reviews are coming once I start watching movies again.

Help me pay for college?

http://www.sponsormydegree.com/smd/nealsjaaheim ? Please? Anyone?

Get Him To The Greek first thoughts/review

By the way this review may have spoilers. And by may I mean does.


What is the definition of drama? As I understand it, drama is when someone wants something very badly and has hard time obtaining it. This item that the person wants can be anything; another person, an object or possession, an idea like peace, or they can want to even save someone else from something. So what is this something that the main character of Get Him to the Greek want? Aldous Snow played by Russel Brand is an out of control rock star who had his world turned upside down on him by his girlfriend, pop star Jackie Q. Aldous wants Jackie throughout the movie and does pursue her. Aldous watches Jackie's and his home videos on the road, he calls Jackie on the phone, and finally he goes to see Jackie. Aldous tries to convince Jackie to be with him instead of Lars Ulrich (drummer of Metallica, for some reason). Jackie explains that what Lars and she share is something special, Aldous responds that the two of them share a son, which is much more special. Their son is a young boy around ten years old named Naples. Here's a spoiler but it's a major turning point and something that changes Aldous' desire. Naples is actually not Aldous' son. He is the son of a man that Jackie had a photo shoot with, in Naples. So what does Aldous now want? if you look on a deeper level, Aldous wanted to prove to Aaron, played by Jonah Hill (he's really the main character but he's not as interesting) and his fans that he was happy on his own. What does he want under this level? He wants Jackie, of course, and in fact, he NEEDS Jackie, but with this turning point what does he realize. This is the most important part to this story. Aldous realizes that he is in fact alone. He has no son, he has no girlfriend, no wife, no real close friends. He only has his mother, kiss ass assistants, and Aaron who only wants to get him to play the show. Aldous is alone, lonely, depressed. He contemplates and nearly attempts suicide. He opens up to Aaron and cries in front of him. Aldous gets to the concert with the injury he sustained and does an amazing job. At the end of the movie what does Aldous want? He wants one close friend. He wants one person that he can share with, that he can open up to, that will listen to him because honestly his life is amazingly messed up. He obtains this. Aaron becomes Aldous' new producer and Aldous realizes that his fans don't go to his shows only for the music but they go because Aldous Snow is more than just a musician, they want to see him for the story of his life and what he presents of himself on stage. At the end, Aldous is happy. Happy in the way that he never had before. He was never happy like this on drugs, and he was never really happy like this when he was with Jackie. He has one close friend like he truly needed.
This is drama. A character pushed to the emotional limit and back is drama. Aldous Snow goes through the emotional range through the course of events.

Honestly this is a great character study. Unexpectedly, I believe the filmmakers made Aldous Snow the main character. Even though the story is about Aaron Green trying to fulfill what his dreams are, the more interesting character. This is an unexpected great movie. I'd love to see more movies like this. Please, Hollywood, more original films, no more Megan Fox movies, no more comic book films. Please Please, more like this. Let's give this my rating now. 9/10. It really was that good.

Help me out!

I decided to not review Kick Ass because I don't feel too strongly either way about it. I want you to give me a movie to review. Any movie. Any movie at all. Please. I'm dying. I don't care really. I'll sit down, watch, and review any movie that you know of and think I'll love or hate. Seriously. Either way. Let me know.

Update!

I didn't get the youtube partnership. This is all.

Bloody Mary

The first rule of a horror movie is that it should be something that...scares you...correct? Indeed. And while it certainly did try, a little known, absolutely low- (if not no-) budget film by the name of "Bloody Mary" did not succeed. Quite the contrary, this film had me laughing at it or feeling bad for those who were "lucky" enough to have their names in the credits. While you should always take pride in your work and yes I applaud the filmmakers for finishing a production, it utterly pains me that such a mildly offensive, completely out of context, and laughable film film was made from their hands.
I'm going to do something different in this review. I'm going to split it into different parts. 1. Main Characters 2. Supporting Characters 3. Plot 4. Production
1. Main Characters.
Natalie is Nicole's (the missing girl) sister. She spends the whole film in an emotionless state of blank face looking for Nicole. She tries to get help from others but apparently wants to do everything herself. There's no character development with her and I at least don't care if she finds her sister or not.
Jenna is the main antagonist (a.k.a. bitchy girl) of the film. She's just a bully who tries to force everyone to do everything she does. She forces Nicole into the tunnels which leads to her missing. She lies straight faced to Natalie. She (I guess) leads people to Mary who (I guess) eats them? (Or at least their eyes) She's again a one dimensional character who no one should care about. She also speaks the whole time like she's trying to hide an accent. What accent I can't detect but she speaks awkwardly.
Johnny is a cop(?) who tries to help Natalie find her sister (and in turn himself into Natalie's pants). He is usually seen doing nothing of importance and is generally not important himself.
Dr. Simmons is possibly the only character that grows. He begins (as we first meet him) as a mild mannered doctor that is trying to do everything he can for Natalie, but as the film progresses, he tries to kill her. I didn't say it was a good growth but it's something at least. A for effort movie makers!
2. Supporting Characters
Oh the supporting cast. Why oh why are they even in this film?
Scooter is Jenna's boyfriend(?) who spends the whole stretch of the film under Jenna's thumb and being a Paul Rudd lookalike. He is generally boring and does nothing of importance. What he does for the film is...minimal at most. Really he does nothing.
Paul is Nicole's ex boyfriend. He dies very quickly after we meet him. Not important, boring, does nothing for the story.
April, Tabitha, and Shelby are the same character. Jenna's cronies. They do nothing but fearfully listen to the will of Jenna. One dimensional, sheepish, boring.
And now my favorite supporting character of anyone, RailRoad. His name is Ricky Reynolds and he has...club foot? Palsy? Mental retardation? I'm not sure but he's there. No growth, no thought to character, no sensitivity. He is the reason I've stated that this film is offensive. It's just strange to see someone playing that role. I'd feel bad about it at least.
3. Plot
There isn't one. There is but it's minimal. Nicole goes missing (or is killed) after her "Friends" (Jenna and crew) convince her to go into the tunnels under the mental hospital where they all work. Natalie spends the whole film looking for Nicole with no help from basically anyone. Natalie asks Nicole's patient/friend Heather about some things and Heather is afraid of mirrors. Blah blah blah doctor talk about mirrors. Paul dies because a shattering mirror cuts the soles of his feet...somehow. Railroad walks into Heather's room late at night and hands her a plate with a mirror on it. Mary kills Heather. Someone is taking the eyes of the victims and putting them into a metal cabinet (I wonder who...). There is a man with boils all over his face who likes rocking back and forth and muttering things through the vents of the hospital. Why he is there I have no idea. The majority of the film is Natalie looking blank faced about everything and nothing happening. Blah Blah Blah Natalie breaks an already broken mirror and Mary disintegrates.
Jenna's nose bleeds. A lot. Again no idea why.
4. Production
The whole film looks very strange. What I think the problem is, is that they shot in HD when the thought of HD was still new and they hadn't tweaked it to perfection. It looks like the backgrounds were added in in post and they didn't use the same resolution as they did for the actors.
Every image is blown out. They apparently don't know how f-stops work. Especially in the tunnel scenes, where there should be no light, the doctor's white coat is blown out so that he looks like some sort of angelic figure. Who knows maybe this was a directorial decision.

Final verdict is that this is a horrible film. Offensive, no plot, no character that I can identify with or care about, nothing that I want to see ever again. Sadly I own this film. Luckily I paid under $2 for it (It came in a pack of 4 for $5). If you can see this film for free, don't. Make someone pay you to see it. It's full of bad effects, worse acting, EVEN worse visual production detail.

2/10 because as a movie it's....definitely a movie.

The Invention Of Lying

The Invention Of Lying, starring Ricky Gervais, is a film that was released in October of 2009. It delves into the fantasy genre, asking the question "What if there was no such thing as a lie?"
The immediate answer is, as it was for me, "Well that would be great. In a world with only truth, things would be much easier." While this is true, the opening scene also shows how hurtful the truth can be. Ricky Gervais stars as Mark Bellison who is an overweight film writer who is trying to get a date with Jennifer Garner's character, Anna McDoogles. Anna is on the phone with her mother when she actually first sees Mark. Anna immediately expresses her disappointment with Mark's appearance. This sets the tone for the rest of the movie. Anna is not attracted to Mark and doesn't plan on starting a relationship with him because of this. The overall opinion of everyone in the film is that marriage should only be done to provide both partners with favorable offspring (good looking children) and Mark's genes won't provide that for Anna.
Mark, as I briefly mentioned earlier, is a film writer. Don't think of this as writing films that you or I may see. Because there is no lying, there are no tall tales, no myths, no legends, and no films of the sort. Instead, films are shot where one single actor sits and retells a story of some historical happening. Mark is unsuccessful at his job, mostly due to the fact that the period of time he has been assigned to cover also happens to be the time when the Bubonic Plague was at it's worst.
Throughout the film, there are small cameo parts by big name actors, including Tina Fey who plays Mark's secretary, Jeffrey Tambour, his boss, Rob Lowe, his rival coworker, and Phillip Seymour Hoffman as the bartender. There are more, but we'll cover them when we get to their small parts in the plot.
Mark Bellison is able to tell a lie shortly into the film and it confuses him as to how he "can say something that isn't". He uses this to better his own life, in ways such as writing a story that is completely made up to get ahead in his career. This gains him fame and money. Before all that, but immediately after the first lie, he goes to Jim the bartender and his friend Greg (played by Louis C.K.). He tries to explain to them what happened, and tries to even demonstrate by telling them false things about his life. ("I invented the bicycle" "I love your work" "I'm a German astronaut" "When's your launch date?")
In a world without lies, there is no such thing as false. Without false, you would not need the opposite, truth. While the concept of truth is there and everyone is always expressing it, the word truth is not, which is why it's hard for Mark to express what happened.
Mark eventually is in a jam as the city, nation, and world is asking how he knows things they do not. Sadly this is where the film takes a turn for the worse.
The film is now something that's more up to par with Bill Maher's views than a lighthearted tale. Mark makes up yet more lies and tells the world that a "Man in the sky" is telling him things. The people ask him questions about the Man in the sky and he has to make up more lies about Him. After a while, (since there are no lies to the rest of the population) everyone believes Mark and they form a religion. (Christianity, catholocism, call it what you will.)
The film began in such a funny manner that this is a complete curveball. It actually angers me. I'm not saying that I believe in a religion, but to so boldly say that all religion is just a story that someone made up because they could is insensitive, immoral, and plain rude. Even if it is your opinion that all things religious are false, please take into consideration that they are something that millions of others believe in and hold closely to who they are.
Maybe I'm taking this too heavily and I should just sit back and enjoy the film for what it was. But after that turn of events the film lost it's fun tone and became a serious drama. It tried to regain the initial lightheatedness but it never really did. It felt forced after the shift.
If this movie could be split into two separate movies with similar plots but you took them separately into the tones they were in, I think that you would have two very good films. But as it stands right now, the film just seems like it's trying to mend the two together.
I wouldn't suggest this film to everyone. It's full of British humor, which is very subtle, and a heavy religious undertone. If you'd like to check it out I'd say go ahead but don't pay too much for a rental. Try to find it online or somewhere that rents free movies first.
At last I'll make a judgment on a scale of 1 to 10. Because of the heavy religious undertone it loses points. But also the first of the film is strong, funny, and very expository of the characters without that exposition be all dialogue. This film gets a 6.5/10.

Hello Caleb, follower

I think I'll start posting my films on here along with my youtube page. I guess I want some feedback and whatnot. So yeah. That may happen. It may not. Who knows.

Today has been the best of both worlds.

I as some of you know am a film school student. The downside of this is that we are slaves to the film cage. We must adhere to the rules of the cage and the limited supplies that the cage offers. Well today I was in the cage trying to reserve a camera and other equipment for a shoot I had originally planned for next weekend. This was obviously destined to fail, there are about 8,000 film students and about...10(?) cameras. So obviously my shoot is not taking place. I'm steamed at this point so I return to my residence and I go to youtube. I just wanted to check what was going on with my account that I use to post skits and videos so I sign in and up at the top of the page is a blue square saying something like "apply for a youtube partnership". So instantly I'm all excited and "hell yeah!" So I do all the work and we'll know in about two weeks whether or not I get approved. I don't have the highest hopes because the reason they offered it to me is because I have one video that has a high number of views. The rest are not so high, in the hundreds or so. I can still try though. Hopefully this will put me back on track with making comedy sketch videos whenever I can. I hope for the best.
-Neal

*Link to youtube page* http://www.youtube.com/user/VegaPictures?feature=mhw5
**PLEASE VIEW!**

Back Again.

With such a long wait I found it appropriate to do something special. This was originally contrived as a video countdown but all the time I would have spent recording it went to school work and other film related things. So anyway here is it.

Welcome to my list of the Top Ten Non-Superman -Batman or –Spiderman, Superhero Movies. A Superhero is defined as a hero, especially (and usually) in children's comic books and television cartoons, possessing extraordinary, often magical powers. This term came about in the 1960’s with the large advent of the superhero comic book. Batman, Superman, and Spiderman, along with other Marvel, DC, and many third party comic book heroes and villains were becoming a popular and moneymaking business. The transition was quickly made to film and the films that were made were often amazing spectacles. But enough about the history of the genre, let’s get along to the countdown! I’ll only be including one film per franchise if the film gained enough of a following to make sequels.

Number 10:

Hancock. This movie is enjoyable, and that’s what I want from a superhero movie. It was well acted and I enjoyed seeing Will Smith come to grips with being a washed up superhero. It’s a good film and the plot is solid. The action is great and that’s what most people expect to see. Go check this one out if you haven’t already.

Number 9:

V for Vendetta. Although it’s a stretch as V isn’t much of a “superhero” as much as just a kickass radical, it’s still a quality film. Written by the brothers who wrote the matrix means the script is solid. Using a first time director was quite a risk, but James McTeigue made a wonderful film. The action is great, the dialogue is thought provoking, and it’s a film that you want to watch again and again.

Number 8:

Toxic Avenger. Yes the Toxic Avenger, but ONLY THE FIRST. Lloyd Kaufman has a great sense of humor and takes a great spin on making almost a spoof of the superhero movie. The characters are over the top, the acting is definitely not A class and the film is definitely not an award winner, but the cult following this film has gained is not because of novelty. Give it a look.

Number 7:

The Punisher: from 2004. Thomas Jane is definitely the punisher. He plays it well and you believe that he really is pained by the loss of his family. This film is definitely action packed and every character is completely devoted to being that character. They wanted to make this film great, and they did.

Number 6:

Hellboy. This isn’t actually one of my favorites but it’s a quality film. Ron Perlman was definitely the right choice to be Hellboy. He can properly portray the sarcasm the character speaks with. He’s a character you love to hate, or hate to love. You can’t help but attach yourself to the guy, even though he wouldn’t want you to.

Number 5:

X-Men 3. This is the best of the franchise I thought. I saw it and was instantly blown away. You say edge of your seat action? I was literally on the edge of my seat for the entire film! For me it doesn’t get much better than Hugh Jackman being completely badass in the role of Wolverine. There’s not only the badass side though. He makes you believe that he is in love with Jean Grey. This film is definitely fantastic. Speaking of Fantastic…!

Number 4:

Fantastic 4. I like it. It’s enjoyable. Plus Jessica Alba is a babe. I thought that Jeff Goldblum would have better played Reed Richards and I thought that this guy was just the poor man’s version of Mr. Goldblum. But other than that minor inconvenience it’s a quality movie

Number 3:

Iron Man. Robert Downey Jr. is the epitome of sarcastic asshole, but that’s why he works so well in this role. He’s the best choice and he definitely made the movie. It’s a great movie for people who aren’t comic book fans. It’s not a nerdy comic book movie. Anyone will like this movie. If you haven’t seen it (and I don’t know why you wouldn’t have seen it) you definitely should.

Number 2:

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. From 1990. The first live action adaptation of the popular kids franchise was a definite change in mood. It was dark, angry, gritty, and completely awesome. I was born in the year this came out so I grew up on it. It was overshadowed by the popularity of the sequel but this is the superior film. It’s well acted (through puppets) and it pulls at your heartstrings.

So here we are. The final submission in the very first countdown. What will it be? Let’s recap before we come down to it. Number 10 Hancock, Number 9 V for Vendetta, Number 8 Toxic Avenger, Number 7 The Punisher, Number 6 Hellboy, Number 5 X-men 3 the Last Stand, Number 4 the Fantastic 4, Number 3 Iron Man, and Number 2 The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Number 1:

The Incredibles. The only animated film that made my list and the only superhero film with a family. It’s a great dynamic that works well. It’s animated amazingly which is not surprising from Pixar studios. I especially enjoyed the use of real children to voice the child characters. The family gave the “team” of superheroes 2 dynamics to work with. They were a family who fought with love for each other and they were a team of superheroes that fought for the city. It’s amazing. You need to get this movie. Anyone from childhood to the elderly will enjoy this film. Really I do think that it’s the greatest non-superman –batman or –Spiderman superhero film that has ever been made, therefore I give it the number one spot on the countdown.

So there you have it. My top ten list of the best superhero movies that aren’t Batman Superman or Spiderman. Please comment, discuss with me, and read my other reviews on my blog. Thanks for reading.

New Things Coming

Hi everybody. I'm working on something special for the next piece I'll be putting up. I hope you enjoy it and I hope you'll continue visiting. Thanks everyone,
-Neal

Sherlock Holmes First Thoughts

I last night had the privilege of seeing Guy Ritchie's latest, Sherlock Holmes starring Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law. I was originally mixed in my expectations. I didn't know how Ritchie would handle making a movie about Sherlock Holmes who is not an action hero or an action star by any means. I thought he would possibly ruin a loved icon for many people and completely redefine Sherlock as a detective. I was wrong. After viewing the film I was in shock. Of course it was a Ritchie film with the use of slow motions and messing with the timeline. Ritchie definitely put his own spin on a classic tale. As you may know from the trailers, Professor Moriarty is not the main villain. Instead it is a well off man known as Lord Blackwood. He is a member of a secret society of gentlemen who closely resemble Freemasons except they use magic and rituals more than the masons do. The story eludes to Moriarty though and it was an interesting choice to not show his face or put him in the cast credits (on a second look there is a cast for "Anonymous Man" which may have been for Moriarty). I don't want to give anything away but the ending was funny and hinted toward something we generally don't think too deeply about nowadays. I highly enjoyed this film. After researching Sherlock Holmes for just a short while I was surprised to read that he actually was a fist fighter, swordsman, and martial artist. This greatly made me enjoy the film more because it showed me that Guy Ritchie did do his own research (not that he wouldn't but it was still nice to know). Speaking of the fighting, it was done so well. I thought it would be done like Ritchie's previous film Snatch but instead I was greatly surprised. The fighting even showed how smart Holmes was. He would explain what each strike would do and gave his diagnosis as to recovery times for his opponents. It was funny, exciting, and exhilarating. Overall this film was enjoyable and the only thing I didn't much care for was the extensive use of CGI. I would have been much happier with less CGI and more risk taking with camera trickery, but I'm not a CGI fan. I would highly recommend this film to anyone and everyone I come across. Please see this, enjoy it, and tell others to do the same. I want to start giving all new films I see and review ratings and I'm happy to give this one an 8.5/10.